The 364 Days In Between

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We were very much in love!  It was the spring of 1984 and my fiancé and I were preparing to get married just a few months later. We made a statement of commitment to one another. It went like this:

We don’t want to have a good marriage; we want to have a great marriage!

Almost 29 years later, we can honestly say that we DO have a great marriage.


Marriage takes intentionality. That spring day, we made a list of commitments to one another and determined to stick with it ever since. Here’s what we listed:

  • Pray together every day.
  • Believe the best.
  • Always go on dates.
  • Use “I” and “We” when communicating and avoid using “You.”
  • Sit next to one other when working through conflict, never across from one another.
  • Do not leave the room during conflict without permission for a short recess.
  • Never use the word “divorce” no matter how hard it gets so it never has the chance to take root.
  • Do not let the sun go down on our anger.
  • Say, “Please forgive me for _________.
  • Choose to forgive.
  • Later we added… Do not tease.

The world celebrated Valentine’s Day last week. We had a wonderful get-away and marveled at how much we are thoroughly enjoying the “empty nest,” how much we love being together and what a great marriage we have.

I assure you, it is not because we have always celebrated Valentine’s Day, although it’s a good thing to do. It is, however, because of our commitment to one another the remaining 364 days of the year.

What is your list?