We were very much in love! It was the spring of 1984 and my fiancé and I were preparing to get married just a few months later. We made a statement of commitment to one another. It went like this:
We don’t want to have a good marriage; we want to have a great marriage!
Almost 29 years later, we can honestly say that we DO have a great marriage.
Why?
Marriage takes intentionality. That spring day, we made a list of commitments to one another and determined to stick with it ever since. Here’s what we listed:
- Pray together every day.
- Believe the best.
- Always go on dates.
- Use “I” and “We” when communicating and avoid using “You.”
- Sit next to one other when working through conflict, never across from one another.
- Do not leave the room during conflict without permission for a short recess.
- Never use the word “divorce” no matter how hard it gets so it never has the chance to take root.
- Do not let the sun go down on our anger.
- Say, “Please forgive me for _________.
- Choose to forgive.
- Later we added… Do not tease.
The world celebrated Valentine’s Day last week. We had a wonderful get-away and marveled at how much we are thoroughly enjoying the “empty nest,” how much we love being together and what a great marriage we have.
I assure you, it is not because we have always celebrated Valentine’s Day, although it’s a good thing to do. It is, however, because of our commitment to one another the remaining 364 days of the year.
What is your list?